Monday, April 5, 2010

...willing and obedient...

Wow!  Not sure what else to say as I sit here thinking about the awesomeness of our God and Savior.  He is so incredibly amazing to be able to use a sinner like me.  Though I am weak He is strong.  That is what I cling to as I try to grasp what we are doing as a team and as His humble servant.

My name is Justin and I am the father of five amazing kids and the husband of an awesome servant of God who inspires me everyday.  This will be my third trip to Africa inside of a year and I still cannot wait!  I first went to Uganda last May and my heart was broken.  I saw for the first time what true poverty is.  I saw suffering like I had never imagined and I experienced the havoc that sin reaps in this world.  Up until that trip, I thought that I understood pain and suffering, but I didn't really have a clue.  Not until I locked eyes with hundreds of children who could have been my own, but they had no one.  Not until I walked into an orphanage of 50 kids all under three and begging, crying, just to have someone pick them up, touch them, just look at them.  Not until I held an 18 month old baby girl in my arms who's arm was smaller than my finger. Not until I found out she died of starvation 3 days later.  I did not understand hopelessness until a three year old girl named Shanita sat on my lap for just one hour during a church service asked if I would be her daddy.  When she asked her mommy if I could take her home, I politely smiled at her mother saying how cute I thought that was.  My heart was wrenched when her mother looked back at me told me that I could take her.  Hopeless, helpless, trying only to do the best she could for her child, this woman was willing to give up her only child if it meant she would have a chance at life.  My heart has never felt such pain.  But this was not my life, I was merely a spectator, a bystander.  In a few short days, I was back at work listening to people complain about how poor their 401k was doing.  Everywhere I looked I saw the things of this world so out of proportion.  I cried out to God asking what I could do, what difference could I make?  I am not a politician, I am not immeasurably wealthy, I am not educated, influential, or powerful.  But... I am a child of The King.  I am a servant of the Most High, an heir of Heaven, and an empty vessel to be used by the master potter.  I heard God say that I could not do anything on my own accord, but with Him all things are possible.  I heard Him say that I could go back, and take others.  Take others so their hearts could be broken as well.  Broken and crying out to Him asking "what next?" I am only one man, but if I can take others to see what I have seen, for God to break their hearts with the things that break His, I am being obedient.  And that is all that He asks me to be... willing and obedient.  So here we are, 26 days until take-off and I am still not sure how things will look on this trip.  What I do know is that the same God who spoke the world into existence has asked me to go, and to take others. To go, to see, to serve.  And so with trembling hearts and eyes fixed on Him, we obey.

1 comment:

  1. Justin, I pray that the ripples of this trip, the ripples of your obedience, go on and on, and that many lives will be changed, rescued, redeemed, because you listened and obeyed. When our hearts are broken by the things that break God's heart, then He can use us to take His love where it is so despartely needed! I am so anxious to have you and the team here, because I know that I will be one of the many who will be blessed by all of you! I am in awe of how God is using you!